


Package Deal

by Cardinal_Daughter



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Family, Flirting, Fluff, Found Family, Friendship, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-05 22:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18838252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cardinal_Daughter/pseuds/Cardinal_Daughter
Summary: Beginning a relationship with Caleb Widogast also means forming relationships with all of the Mighty Nein, as Essik quickly learns.A series of moments in which Essik bonds with the members of Caleb’s family.





	1. Beauregard

**Author's Note:**

> I really just want Essik to interact with everyone, because there is so much potential for absolute hilarity to ensue. 
> 
> And I want Essik and Caleb to fall in love and get married and be happy forever. I doubt it’ll happen, but hey, that’s why fanfic exists.

 

 

**Beauregard**

 

 

Essik knocks on the door to the home currently occupied by the Heroes of the Dynasty. He waits patiently for a moment, listening with mild amusement as he hears someone shout for someone else to answer the door. He hears a few back and forth remarks, complete with scathing insults, and then suddenly the door is yanked open, causing Essik to start from the harsh movement.

On the other side of the door is Beauregard, looking annoyed and drenched in sweat. She’s holding her staff in the other hand and stares at Essik for a long moment before finally speaking.

“Oh. You’re early.”

“I am,” Essik nods. “I hope that is not a problem.”

“I mean, no not really, but Caleb isn’t here right now. He went to the apothecary with Nott and Yeza. They should be back any minute.” She hesitates then, rocking back on her heels, as if she already knows the answer to what she’s about to ask, yet is determined to ask it anyway. “W- would you like to come in?”

Essik hesitates, but then nods politely. “Yes, please.”

Beau blinks, clearly surprised. “Oh. Shit. Yeah, okay.” She steps aside to allow Essik entry. He passes by her, trying not to sniff as the smell of sweat hits him. As he enters, he can already see the normal chaos is occurring in the Xhorhaus, as the group has dubbed the building. He can hear the sounds of a sword hitting wood, no doubt the training room, where he knows Beauregard spends much of her time. It explains the sweat and the smell, not that he minds terribly. For all her strangeness, she is devout in her training, and he respects her for it.

He can see more paint has been added to the walls of the living spaces, no doubt Jester’s doing. They range from lovely murals of the group, including a purple tiefling he does not recognize, to scenic landscapes that he supposes are meant to represent their home in the Empire.

He’s also certain a few of the flowers look like dicks, but he knows it would be rude to point that out.

He can hear the others in other parts of the house, and takes a moment to wonder how such a strange group of individuals can so easily coexist in one space. 

As he meditates on that thought, Beau shuts the door, the copper wind chime clanging together in a pleasant sort of sound. She steps up beside him, staff momentarily used as support for her to lean on.

“Want something to drink while you wait?” Beau smiles at him, but it’s strained. He recalls, a few weeks prior, when she’d offer him the same and the half-orc fellow had instructed her to watch her facial expression. He notes the man is not nearby, and decides to offer some gentle correction of his own. 

“Unclench your jaw,” Essik instructs softly, “And don’t furrow your brows. Keep them neutral.” Beau’s gaze drops to a glare before she shakes her head, opens her mouth to pop her jaw and loosen it, then tries again. This smile is much more natural, more sincere. She is actually quite lovely, now that she has a bit of control over her expression. Essik nods approvingly. “Much better. And yes; a drink would be lovely.”

“Wow,” Beau says, softly surprised and drops the smile, massaging her cheeks as she does so. “Fjord never mentioned the jaw thing. Thanks.”

“He clenches his as well,” Essik explains as they move to the kitchen. Beau props her staff against the wall and digs out the ingredients for a cocktail.

“Does he? I never really noticed.”

“I imagine it is due to his insecurity regarding his tusks,” Essik remarks as he takes a seat on one of the stools at the counter. He knows by now not to wait for an invitation to sit. The invitation is implied by virtue of being in the home. Only Caleb seems to appreciate Essik’s preference for courtesy and manners and responds appropriately.

Her eyes narrow as she looks up from pouring liquid from a flask into a cup. “How do you know about that?”

“It’s rather obvious,” Essik shrugs elegantly. “He picks at them, on occasion.”

“He’s trying to stop, actually,” Beau says as she slides the drink to Essik. “Jester convinced him to let them grow.”

“Good.” He takes a delicate sip of the drink. It’s light and refreshing, as usual. “He should not be ashamed of who he is.”

“Maybe you can say something to him.” Beau leans against the counter, elbows resting against the wood. “He uh… he doesn’t say much but I know he’s got some issues about… well… _part_ of himself. If you get me.”

Essik does. “Sometimes a third party can be helpful in such things. Perhaps if the opportunity arises I will make mention of it.”

“Cool,” Beau says, pushing off the counter, letting her palms rest against the surface, drumming her fingers absently as she glances over Essik’s shoulder to the training room. She quickly glances back to him, clearly trying to think of some other topic in which to engage him.

“Beauregard,” Essik sighs, “I appreciate your efforts at hospitality. They are noted; and you are certainly improving. But you do not have to stand guard over me, if you do not wish.”

She hesitates, which Essik thinks is a step in the right direction. “Are you… sure?”

“I can entertain myself just fine until Caleb arrives back from his errand,” Essik assures her, standing up with drink in hand. “Perhaps I will admire the newest additions to the mural in the living room.”

“Yeah,” Beau snorts as they walk back out. “See how many dicks you can find. Jester claims there’s nine but I can only find seven.”

Essik blinks, astounded. “They… they’re _supposed_ to be there?”

For a long moment Beau just stares at Essik as if she can’t quite tell if he’s serious. Then she snorts in a most undignified manner and steps forward, slapping Essik on the back, just on the edge of too hard.

“Oh, man,” she laughs, “You clearly don’t know Jester very well. Keep your spell book out of her reach or you’ll find dicks mixed in with your spells too. Ask Caleb if you don’t believe me.” 

And with that she grabs her staff and retreats to the training room, leaving Essik in the main living area, staring at a wall of flowers and a mural of Caleb and his friends, cautiously looking for secret dicks.

By the time Caleb returns, he’s only managed to find five.


	2. Jester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Essik just wants to fix a cup of tea. He gets much more than he bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jester is literally the best character ever. Every interaction she has with others is gold. I love her so much. And I especially love her when he’s interacting with stoic, grumpy magic boys because how could it be anything other than hilarious?
> 
> Also, Tusk Love.

 

 

**Jester**

 

As Caleb studies a particularly difficult and involved passage regarding dunamantic magic, Essik slips out of the library and toward the kitchen. It’s been a grueling session, Caleb struggling with the more advanced spell Essik offered to teach him. He thinks, once Caleb has finished the section in the book, the wizard might like a cup of tea, and so he uses Caleb’s distraction to sneak out to fix him a cup.

It’s simply polite, Essik tells himself. Caleb is working very hard, impressively so, and a cup of tea after some hard work is always welcome, in Essik’s experience. It has nothing to do with how Caleb will most likely flush at the gesture, his lovely pale cheeks turning a particularly handsome shade of red that somehow makes his charming freckles stand out even more. It has nothing to do with how he will mutter a soft, surprised, “Thank you,” and take the cup from Essik, the wizard’s unusually warm hands brushing over his own. It has nothing to do with the way Caleb will watch him curiously for a moment too long, then shift his gaze away shyly.

No. It’s just tea.

As he moves through the house, nearly as familiar to him now as his own, he spots a most curious sight in the living area: Jester, silent and still on one of the large chairs near the window, reading.

Perhaps it’s a bit judgemental on his part, but Essik would never have pinned the energetic tiefling for a reader.

Continuing on his path, he enters the kitchen and quickly sets a pot to boil. As he waits he ventures back out to where Jester is engrossed in her book, and coughs just loud enough to get her attention. When she looks up, her expression morphs into one of pure delight at someone wanting to speak to her, and she dog-ears the book- causing Essik to wince- and beams at him.

“Hi, Essik!”

“Good afternoon.”

“Whatcha doin’?”

“I am waiting on water to boil for tea.”

“Oooh,” Jester nods. “Tea sounds good. Is there enough for an extra cup?”

“Yes, I believe so.”

“Great!” Jester stands and makes her way to the kitchen, slipping her arm through Essik’s as she does so. It’s always a shock, how strong the young girl is. He knows better than to try to fight her- she’s very tactile, he’s come to realize, and her strength and tendency to touch make for a deadly combination he cannot easily escape. And so he allows her to guide him back to the kitchen.

Once there she mercifully released him and places the book downing the counter before rummaging through the cupboards. Essik glances down at the book, brow furrowing in confusion and mild distaste as he sees the cover of a muscular orcish man in a loving embrace with a scantily clad human woman. The title reads _Tusk Love._

“So do you want regular tea or dead people tea?”

Essik’s head shoots up to stare at Jester, and despite himself, he cannot help the look of utter horror that crosses his face.

“I’m sorry. _What?_ ”

Jester giggles. Because _of course_ she would. “It’s Caduceus’ tea,” she explains. “It’s not really made of dead people,” she assures him before pausing and muttering to herself, “I don’t… think?” She looks up to Essik, gaze sharp and piercing and eager. “Do you want me to go ask Caduceus?”

As much as Essik would like to know what in the world dead people tea is, he’s almost more eager to escape this conversation entirely. “That’s alright,” he says softly, “Perhaps I’ll ask him at a later time.”

“Yeah!” Jester beams, “That’s a great idea!” She then pulls out a tin and plops it on the counter. “Regular tea it is, then!”

Jester pulls out two mugs, then stops. “One for Caleb too, right?”

“Yes.” That _was_ the point of this entire endeavor that has somehow managed to go haywire. Tea for Caleb.

“Got it!” Jester says as she grabs another cup. “How do you take your tea?”

“Just lemon will be fine.”

“Okay!” Jester says as she preps the tea. The water begins to boil and Jester grabs it and begins pouring water in, adding lemon to one, a touch of honey to another, and a large amount of sugar to the third. Essik watches with mild disgust at the amount of sugar Jester is adding to what he assumes- _hopes-_ is her cup. As she works, he allows his eyes to trail back down to the book. He regards the cover again, tasteless and crude, but he can’t help but find himself curious about the contents. He’ll never debase himself by reaching out to inspect it, but he can’t help but wonder.

When he glances up, he sees Jester grinning at him knowingly. “Have you ever read it?”

“I have not.”

Her eyes light up, as if she’s just had the most brilliant idea. Essik feels a small twinge of fear.

“Do you want to borrow it?!”

That is the _last_ thing he wants to do. “I do not want to deprive you of your…” he glances down at the book. “Entertainment.”

“Oh it’s no problem, I’ve already read it like _six_ times,” Jester says with an exaggerated eyebrow wiggle. “And besides, if you take it and read it, you’ll have to come back here to give it back to me, and more than likely Cay-leb will be here and you’ll get to see him too!” Her brow continues to wiggle up and down in a manner that might be impressive if it weren’t directed straight at him and his apparently obvious infatuation with the human wizard.

“I already have a reason to visit Caleb. Dunamancy lessons, in case you have forgotten.”

Jester rolls her eyes. “Yeah, but like, this would be _extra_ time with him. And if you read it you two can talk about how much you love it because Caleb has read it too and he _really_ likes it too!”

That.

That’s…

Essik glances at the book once more. He’s suspicious that Jester is lying, but there’s something about her wide grin and sparkling eyes that convinces him that she is genuine. He hesitates, sighs, then reaches out to slide the book closer to him. “I… will give it a try.”

Jester bounces up and down excitedly, clapping her hands as she does so. Essik hates to admit it, but he finds her excitement annoyingly endearing. “Oh my gosh you’re going to love it so much! The orc- his name is Oskar- you see he’s-“

“Jester? Have you seen- oh.” The two glance behind them to see Caleb, looking a little weary and confused. He gives Jester a look that seems to say _stop antagonizing the Shadowhand,_ then his attention turns to Essik. “I finished the passage,” he says with a small amount of uncertainty as he glances between the two of them again. “I thought we might try the spell one more time.”

“Yes,” Essik says, standing and moving over to Jester, collecting the cup with honey and moving back to Caleb. “But first, a break, I think.”

Caleb takes the cup, his unusually warm fingers brushing over Essik’s. He mutters a small, surprised _thank you_ , and meets Essik’s gaze for a moment before his cheeks begin to flush and he glances away to inspect the cup in his grasp. Essik watches as Caleb sniffs the tea, then takes a small sip, sighing gratefully afterward. Essik tries not to stare at the bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallows. “It’s very good. Thank you.”

“Oh, I didn’t-“

“Yeah, Essik is _really good_ at brewing tea! He made yours just how you like, Cay-leb!” Jester says quickly, grabbing the other two mugs and handing Essik his before she throws him a far too obvious wink and strolls out of the room. The two men watch her go, and once she’s gone Caleb sighs and turns to Essik with a look of apology on his face.

“I apologize. Jester is-“ his attention falters as he notices the book in Essik’s hand. The drow feels a flush of his own forming on his cheeks and moves to hide the book, but Caleb’s free hand catches his wrist, keeping the book hovering between them. “I see she got to you too,” he says with an air of sympathy. “If you like, I can simply tell you what happens so you don’t have to actually read it.”

 _By the light, she wasn’t lying,_ he thinks with surprise.

“I’d like that,” Essik says softly, at a loss for what else to say at the thought of being given a summary of a smutty story by the man with whom he can quite easily imagine himself in similar situations.

Caleb smirks. “Then follow me. I assure you, it’s quite terrible.”

They make their way back to the library, and foolishly, Essik glances in Jester’s direction. She simply grins and winks again.

A moment later he hears her sing-song voice, clearly quite pleased with herself, in the back of his mind: _you’re weeeellllccccooooommmeeee!_


	3. Caduceus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Essik and Caducues discuss Caleb, death, and tea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Caduceus is hard to write, man. That line between low intelligence and high wisdom is tricky for someone who rolled low on both intelligence and wisdom IRL.

 

 

**Caduceus**

 

 

It’s been a few days since Essik has ventured to the Xhorhaus. The Mighty Nein had gone out on a brief job for Professor Waccoh, and had only been back for a day or so. Much as Essik is reluctant to admit it, he’s missed his study sessions with Caleb. 

He’s becoming far too attached, far too quickly.

As he enters this time, Beau looks up from where she’s reading on one of the chairs and offers him a grin that is much more natural, almost as if she’s been practicing. 

“Caleb’s in the tower with Caduceus. Head on up if you want.” 

Essik tilts his head in reply. “Thank you, Beauregard.” 

As he moves toward the tower, he contemplates his relationship with the brash monk. Perhaps relationship is a strong word, but he finds he rather likes her harsh demeanor, especially when she actively is aware of it, and tries to combat it, usually with the half-orc at her side, cheering her on. It’s humorous in its own way, and endearing. These people really do seem to be a family unit of sorts, and Essik feels a small sense of longing to perhaps one day be included. 

He shakes his head. Such sentimentality is foolish. 

And yet, here he is. 

He reaches the top of the tower, where the base of the large tree rests. Even after seeing it numerous times, it’s no less stunning than the first. The group certainly made a name for themselves with the tree, and hardly a day goes by where Essik doesn’t hear some remark about it from someone. 

Glancing over, Essik sees Caduceus, the alarmingly tall firbolg, and Caleb, so small and slight next to his friend. In front of them is the large floating cat’s paw that Caleb had flaunted in front of Essik some weeks back. This time however it is full of dirt and Caleb is carefully moving his own hands in a controlled gesture as the paw slowly tilts and dumps the dirt into a large section of the tower, blocked off by stone.

“I think that is good, ja?” Caleb says, his accent thick and pleasing to Essik’s ear. Beside Caleb, Caduceus taps his chin thoughtfully. 

“I think so. We can always add more later on if we need too. But for now that should be enough.” 

“Just let me know,” Caleb says. “I think it will be lovely to have home grown vegetables again.” 

“Oh, definitely,” Caduceus agrees. “I’ve missed being able to tend to a garden on a- oh! Hello Mr. Essik!” 

At the mention of his name, Caleb whirls around, and Essik is utterly charmed to see that Caleb, similar to Caduceus, is covered with splotches of dirt, some caked across his brow. Under the smudges, Essik sees Caleb’s skin flare up in that adorable pinkish-red color, and he absently grabs a handkerchief from his pocket to both wipe away the mess and hide his blush. 

“Scheisse,” Caleb mutters. “I apologize, Essik. I lost track of the time.”

Essik holds a hand up to silence Caleb. “It is no trouble. May I ask what you two are doing?” 

“Gardening,” Caleb answers, then lets out a flustered laugh. “Well,  _ Caduceus _ is gardening. I’m merely doing the heavy lifting.” 

“Which is ironic since you’re  _ so weak _ !”

Essik looks up to see Jester sitting on one of the branches of the tree, pushing in bits of… something… into a small house that looks as if a child had pieced it together. 

“I may be weak but at least I didn’t force my weasel to nest in a tree, Blueberry!” Caleb calls back. 

“Shut up, he likes it! Don’t you, Sprinkle?” 

Essik is certain he hears a tiny hiss in reply. He glances at Caleb then, who is staring up at the tiefling girl, a small smile flickering across his lips before he seems to remember himself and turn back to Essik, a more neutral, but no less flushed look on his face. “I apologize. I am keeping you waiting. Let me go change, and we can begin.” 

“Of course,” Essik agrees, watching as Caleb pats Caduceus on the arm then rushes down the stairs to his room, muttering in Zemnian. A part of Essik feels a twinge of jealousy. He wishes Caleb would show a bit more familiarity with him, though Essik is aware that he has done little to encourage such behavior, and is equally aware that, despite their association and slowly growing closeness, Essik is very much the foreigner here. He is not one of the Mighty Nein (he still doesn’t understand that; there’s only seven of them) and he fears that no matter what, he will always be a bit of an outsider. 

As he muses on such things- trivialities, he tries and fails to convince himself- he also fails to notice the towering firbolg step up next to him. 

“He likes you.”

Essik manages not to jump. Instead he slowly turns his head to acknowledge the firbolg and offer a mildly convincing, uninterested, “Oh?” 

“Yeah,” Caduceus says simply as he wipes his own face with a handkerchief. “Took me a while to figure out how the others operate; I’m still figuring things out, but now  that I see it, it’s quite obvious.” 

“Is it?” Essik very nearly squeaks, tries to ignore the fluttering in his heart. He composes himself and adds, “I suppose it is good then, that we are amiable to one another. It would make training most unpleasant, otherwise.” 

Caducues makes a small sound of acknowledgment, and is quiet for a few moments. It’s clear he intends to speak again, and so Essik waits as the firbolg gathers his thoughts. 

“I’m not really well versed in romance- it’s never been something I’ve had much interest in- but I can read people pretty well, and… yeah. He’s definitely quite fond of you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him cozy up to someone quite so quickly. Or at all, really.” 

Two trails of thought war for dominance in Essik’s mind. First, Caleb is  _ fond _ of him? He’s cozying up? Essik must surely be blind to the Zemnian’s advances then, because he’s been certain that, despite an obvious initial attraction, Caleb was simply interested in magical study. There is clearly  _ something _ between them, but Essik has worried perhaps it is more one-sided on his part. However, suddenly Jester’s offering of  _ Tusk Love  _ makes more sense, as does Beau’s insistence on being hospitable. Perhaps he’s not as good at reading these people as he initially thought, and hope flutters in his chest that perhaps Caleb might be as interested in Essik as Essik is in him. 

The other thought, however, is one of mild concern. Caduceus admitting to being able to read people sets off a few alarms. Did Caduceus train in a manner similar to Caleb? He recalls Caleb’s confession upon pulling out the Beacon (and oh, in retrospect, he was so beautiful, standing in the light, literally holding hope in his pale hands) that he’d been part of  _ inner circles.  _ Had Caducues been part of something similar? 

“Did you train at the same place as Caleb, then? To be able to read others so well?” He feels a bit guilty asking, but he technically  _ is _ supposed to be keeping an eye out for any traitorous activity or threat to their county. 

“What?” Caduceus blinks. ”Oh. No. No, it’s just something you pick up when you deal with the grieving for most of your life.” 

Essik blinks. “The… grieving?” 

“Yeah,” Caduceus explains as he leans back against the stone wall of the newly created garden. “My family guards and maintains the Blooming Grove. Part of which is a cemetery. We do it in service of the Wild Mother; part of our job was to bury the dead, and part of my job specifically was to comfort those who were left behind. You learn a lot about people by listening to them share their grief.” He smiles softly, wistfully. “It can be rather beautiful, actually.”

A part of Essik is relieved. There is nothing to report there; no threat or worry. But another part of him finds himself disturbed at the thought of being responsible to help others in their despair. 

“No one in your part of the world is consecuted, yes?” 

Caduceus shakes his head. “No. We have one life; some of us have a little longer than others.” Caduceus glances up at Jester who is completely engrossed with Sprinkle, then over to the stairs where Caleb has disappeared a few minutes prior. “I’ll probably outlive all my new friends. It’s something I try not to think about, but it’s true.”

Something stirs in Essik; he knows he’s already lived longer than any of this group will, and suddenly the reality of such a thing, that he will go on for centuries after they have all crumbled to dust, makes him shiver deep in his core. It’s unsettling; it’s upsetting. 

“I cannot even begin to fathom…”

“It is quite melancholic,” Caduceus agrees. “Though I think that’s part of why the Wild Mother led me to them.”

“Why?” Essik asks, truly curious. 

“I think maybe she wanted to ensure they had someone to bury them someday; have someone mourn them and remember them, for a time.”

“That…” Essik swallows. Death is such a far off and abstract concept to him in many ways that he finds himself rattled at thinking of how closely it lingers to those outside of consecution. He thinks about how Caleb is already a good way through his own life, possibly made shorter by war and violence, and his heart lurches at just how little time he truly has with this man, with these strange people who showed up one day and flipped the Dynasty upside down. “...That is a rather grave undertaking, though it is a lovely sentiment. But, I wonder, do you not think many of them will not have families of their own by that point?” 

Caduceus gives him a knowing look. “Possibly. But you have to understand, Mr. Essik: all of us were very much alone when we found each other. There may be others who join the fray and become a part of us, and there are many who aren’t here who are our friends that we dearly love and who love us, but that deep-rooted feeling of isolation is not an easy weed to dig up. If it were, I doubt any of us would be here in Xhorhas.” 

Essik swallows thickly. “Well. We are grateful you are here, though I am sorry for the troubles that drove you to us.” 

“I think Xhorhas has been good for us.” Caduceus pauses, frowns. “Most of us. Not sure Ms. Yasha is pleased to be back home, but Mr. Fjord and Ms. Nott seem a little more at ease. Mr. Caleb too. He’s opened up a lot more since arriving here,” he stops and gives Essik a small smile, “Though I have to suspect that you might play a role in that regard.”

Not knowing how to address that- and not knowing what to think about apparently everyone else in this place being quite certain of Caleb’s infatuation with him- Essik clears his throat and quickly says, “I have one last question, if I may?”

“Of course.” 

“Dead people tea?” 

Caduceus blinks, then laughs a good, hearty laugh. “They really love messing with people with that. I assure you, it’s nothing quite so terrifying.” 

As Caducues explains the process of growing plants from the soil of the graveyard- a sensible and utilitarian practice, Essik thinks- Caleb emerges, clean and changed into his newer, nicer clothing. Essik straightens his back and lifts his chin a little higher, and gives a polite nod to Caleb. “Ready to begin?” 

“Ja,” Caleb nods from his place at the edge of the stairs, “When you are.” 

Essik turns to follow Caleb, then stops and glances back toward Caducues. “Thank you for the… enlightening conversation,” he says. Caduceus grins. 

“No problem.” 

 


	4. Yasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Essik learns that first impressions aren’t always correct, and is inspired to act on some previously given advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably my favorite interaction so far. Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Thank you so much for all the lovely comments! I’m not able to reply to them all, but I read every single one and they make my day. So thank you!

 

 

**Yasha**

 

The rain falls hard around him, but his magic shields against the ever-falling droplets that pelt the ground around him. Despite remaining dry in the sudden rain storm, Essik hurries along, eager to reach the Xhorhaus sooner rather than later. He doesn’t have a session planned for Caleb today; instead he is returning  _ Tusk Love  _ to Jester. Caleb had been right: it was utter drivel, but oddly entertaining in its simplicity and… explicit descriptions. His plan is to return the book, allow Jester to gush over the story as is he now  _ certain _ she will do. Once she finishes he plans to check in on Caleb, mention he’d been heading out for dinner and invite him to join him. He even has an excuse prepared, should he need it: after conversing about  _ Tusk Love _ , he is in desperate need of more intellectual conversation to cleanse his palate. His conversations with the others have led him to believe such an invitation will not be rejected, and a small part of him thrills at the thought of actually having Caleb all to himself. As oddly fond of the group as he’s becoming, his main interest is still solidly and specifically for Caleb alone. 

As he reaches the home, the large tree long since in view, he sees the large, imposing figure of Yasha standing outside, head tilted back as the rain pelts her ruthlessly. She’s soaked through, but seems content with this fact, which baffles Essik. Though, the group has always been strange, and Easik has since learned not to question their quirks. But willingly standing out in the rain is… definitely bizarre.

When he gets close enough, Yasha seems to sense his presence and lowers her head, mismatched eyes opening to acknowledge him.

“Oh, hello,” she says, sounding hesitant, awkward, and unsure. 

In the time he’s known the Nein, he doesn’t think he’s heard Yasha say much of anything outside that one awkward moment when she’d asked about where he lived. He knows now it was mere curiosity, a desire to better understand the city in which they’d been placed. She’s not said much since then. He suspects she’s a quiet type, rather like Caleb or himself. That quietness, combined with her imposing size, leaves Essik mildly surprised each time he hears such a soft and gentle voice escape from her.

“I assume you know it’s raining,” he points out, adding a small smile in the hopes she’ll understand he’s joking (and what has happened to him? He’s  _ joking _ ?!)

“I’m aware,” she smiles back softly. “I love the rain.” 

“I’ve always thought it a nuisance,” Essik remarks idly. 

Yasha regards him seriously at that, and for a moment he regrets saying something so negative to a woman who he’s certain could break him in two. But she doesn’t move. Doesn’t reprimand him. Instead she merely holds out her hands, cupping them in front of her to collect some rainfall. “I worship the Storm Lord,” she says, voice soft and full of wonder. “I feel closer to him when it rains. It feels… easier.. to try to converse with him when it storms. He often speaks to me through them. And I am… learning how to talk back.” 

“What is he saying now?” Essik asks, truly curious. He’d been quick to judge Yasha as someone with great mass but little substance, and he’s finding that once more, everything he thought he knew about the people beyond his home arw not quite what he expected, particularly as it pertains to the bizarre Mighty Nein. 

She closes her eyes, furrowing her brow for a long moment. Then she opens them andreplies, “He says you should drop your spell and enjoy the rain.” 

He can see now the playful look on her face, so strange on such an otherwise intimidating and reserved woman. Part of him is tempted to simply brush past her and go inside where more sensible people reside ( _ and isn’t that saying something,  _ he thinks). But then. He’s read horrible smut, drank dead people tea, and has begun to fall for a  _ human _ from the  _ Empire _ . Perhaps Yasha has point. Perhaps even after two hundred years he can experience something new; perhaps he can learn to appreciate something he’s long taken for granted. 

He lifts his hand out of his cloak and waves it in a methodical gesture, dropping the spell enough so that his head and shoulders get wet, but the book in his holster underneath his cloak remains protected. The moment the spell dissipates, he’s drenched, hair flattening onto his head, water beading up on his lashes and rolling down his cheeks like tears. It’s cold and stings ever so slightly, but- 

But it’s rather nice, actually. 

Slowly, he holds out his hands to mimic Yasha, collecting water and watching as it begins to spill over from his cupped palms. He glances up at the barbarian, and is surprised to see het smiling happily, looking much younger, softer, and more at ease than he’s ever seen her. 

“See? Not so bad.” 

“It’s… tolerable.” 

She laughs, and it’s a delightfully light and charming sound. Letting the water fall from his hands, Essik reaches up and brushes his soaked hair out of his face, and returns her smile. 

A moment later, the door opens and Caleb is standing in the threshold, looking at Essik and Yasha with a mix of confusion and surprised delight. “Essik? What are you doing out in the rain?” 

The drow tilts his head back and lets the rain pelt his face. “Communing with the Storm Lord, apparently.” 

Caleb glances up at Yasha, who gives him a small smile and motions with her head that she’ll be around the back, giving them a bit of privacy. 

“I see,” Caleb says, as he turns his attention back to Essik. “Well, when you are finished, would you like to come in?” 

Essik lowers his head to look at Caleb. He could follow through with his plan, enter the house and give Jester her book and allow Caleb to fuss over him and offer him tea to warm him up. 

Or. 

“Or, we could take a walk?” 

Caleb blinks, head tilting curiously. “What? Now?” 

Essik thinks back to his conversation with Caduceus from a week prior, about just how little time there truly is. Where time was once a luxury, now Essik feels the weight of it, feels just how little of it he has. 

He isn’t going to waste another moment. 

“Now is as good a time as any. From what I read in Jester’s… novel… walks in the rain can be… rather romantic. We could dry off at my home after, perhaps over dinner?”

Caleb stares for a long moment, blinks again, then holds up one finger. He disappears for a moment, then returns with a small satchel draped over his shoulder, replacing the holster in which he normally keeps his books. Essik holds out his hand, and despite the cold chill of the rain, he feels a spark of radiant warmth as Caleb willingly steps into the rain and places his hand in Essik’s and entwines their fingers.

“Dinner sounds lovely.” 


	5. Fjord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Essik gives as good as he gets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for the kudos and comments! 
> 
> I love the thought of Essik being continuously baffled by things the Mighty Nein have done.

 

 

**Fjord**

 

The Dims Inn is certainly not the finest establishment in Rosohna but apparently, once the Mighty Nein find a place they like, they are loyal customers until the end. This loyalty is what causes Essik to step through the door now, and he glances around for a brief moment before he spots the colorful group of adventurers he’s been tasked with monitoring in the back corner. They’re already at least one cup in, though Essik is well aware that most of them don’t need liquor to cause a scene.

He glides over to them, pleased when Caleb notices him first, his cheeks flaring up in that adorable flush Essik has come to cherish. The pinkish hue seems to enhance the freckles that cover his pale skin, causing them to stand out even more. He stands, ignores the shouts and playful teasing of his friends, and steps up to meet Essik a few feet away from the table.

“Hallo,” Caleb says shyly, which is utterly adorable, since in recent days they’ve shared more than a few kisses while locked in the library together.

“Good evening,” Essik replies, a soft smile, reserved only for Caleb crossing his lips. “I trust everyone is as ridiculous as ever.”

“Worse,” Caleb sighs, but there’s a fondness in his eyes that Essik has come to recognize as Caleb’s vast and all-encompassing love for his friends. “Be prepared for madness.”

“I expected no less.”

With a small chuckle, Caleb takes Essik’s hand and leads him to the table. They receive a few looks from other patrons who, while slightly accepting of the presence of two humans in the capital, are certainly not _comfortable_ with it.

Caleb sits down next to Nott, and Essik takes his place on the other side of Caleb. He’s instantly greeted by the others, most notably Jester, and he nods quietly in reply before being handed a mug by Fjord.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

The group falls back into idle conversation, or rather, as Essik notices with amusement, _several_ conversations at once. For his part, he merely listens, and he notices that Caleb does the same. He interjects on occasion, but seems mostly content to watch the others, and after a while he slips his hand under the table, where Essik wastes no time allowing their fingers to intertwine together. 

The talk quickly turns to catching Yeza up on adventures his wife had while away. Essik watches the halfling man, who has both arms wrapped around his goblin wife, and feels curiosity about the entire situation. He recalls they used magic to alter her appearance in the cells a couple months back, but he isn’t certain of the significance. He doesn’t feel it’s his place to ask right now, but he’s certain that at some point he can ask Caleb. The two are very close, he’s noticed.

Eventually stories about boats and pirates and… the... _Ball Eater..?_ come up, and Jester hops up to salute Fjord with one hand while holding her cup of milk with the other. “To Captain Tusktooth!”

A resounding chorus of “Captain Tusktooth!” follows, and Essik leans close to Caleb.

Essik watches as Fjord seems to almost curl in on himself at the attention. He waves off the praise and shrugs off compliments with nervous laughter, pointing out the contributions of the others over himself.

Essik recalls his conversation with Beau from early on in his interactions with the Nein, and thinks that now that he’s seeing it in action, perhaps Beau is right to worry. It’s not appropriate to bring anything up at the moment, but perhaps later, once the others are drunk- they seem to be drinking much faster than either himself, Fjord, or Caleb- he can say something. 

In the meantime however, he leans close to Caleb. “I was not aware Fjord was a captain. Did he serve in the Empire’s naval force?”

Caleb chokes on his drink, coughing for a moment before regaining control of himself. “Nein,” Caleb says, a small laugh escaping. When Essik gives him a dry look, Caleb clears his throat to answer properly. “We, uh… we were pirates.” He pauses. “Briefly.”

“I’m sorry,” Essik blinks, astounded. “ _You_ were a _pirate_?” That thought shouldn’t be as attractive as it is, and Essik has to fight hard to keep his expression neutral.

“Ja,” Caleb says sheepishly, “We uh, we accidentally stole a boat and sort of had to become pirates for a few months.”

Essik knows the look on his face is one of slack-jawed disbelief. “H-how does one… _accidentally…_ steal a boat?”

***

Later as the group walks (and stumbles) back to the Xhorhaus, Essik takes advantage of Caleb’s distraction - seeing him carry his drunken goblin friend on his back is so ridiculously endearing it nearly makes Essik sick - to move close to Fjord. The half-orc glances at Essik, always with suspicion in his eyes, which Essik equally appreciates and resents, but says nothing.

“The tales of Captain Tusktooth are quite impressive.”

Fjord laughs and rubs the back of his neck, flustered. “Yeah, well… Jester… embellishes a bit. I didn’t do much aside from know how to sail.”

The look on Fjord’s face hints that that isn’t entirely true, but anything else that might have occurred on the open water is something he dearly doesn’t want to discuss. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Fjord flex his hand almost absently as his eyes travel to linger on Jester for a moment before snapping back to pay attention to the drow.

”Possibly,” Essik replies. “But they seem to hold you in great esteem. In my experience, that is the sign of a good leader, captain or otherwise.”

Fjord stumbles a bit at that. “I appreciate that, but I ain’t no leader.”

_Interesting_ , Essik thinks. “I will not argue with you. But I will insist that they hold you on great regard.”

“I s’pose,”Fjord shrugs. “I can sail and throw a few balls of eldritch energy. It’s good to know I can be useful to the group.”

_Ah_ , Essik thinks. _Beauregard was right about his insecurity. But it goes much deeper than his tusks._ Essik shakes his head. “No, it is more than that, I think. I am certain you are quite capable on the seas and in battle- tales of your exploits here in Xhorhas certainly suggest as much- but I am more remarking upon their regard for _you_.”

Fjord hesitates, uncertain. He bites at his lip, top teeth scraping over the growing tusks. It seems almost habitual, as if he isn’t even aware he’s done it. “Me?”

“I am new to this group of individuals,” Essik remarks as he glances ahead at them, to where everyone has split off in small clusters. “But I have seen in my short time here your diligence to assist Beauregard in her… attempts at hospitality. You helped pay for the enchantment for Yasha’s bracers-“

“How do you-“

“Jester likes to talk.”

“Ah.”

“Anyway,” Essik continues, “I also overheard you in the chamber that first day- I assure you I was not eavesdropping; your group is just very loud- but you were trying to prevent Nott from getting drunk before being reunited with her husband. Jester has recounted of your brave rescue when she was drowning.” He notices the flush on Fjord’s face at the mention of that memory.

“I think,” Essik muses aloud as Fjord stares at his companions ahead of them, “That it is safe to say you care deeply for your friends, and in turn they care for you.”

Fjord hesitates, then glances at Essik out of the corner of his eye. “That’s mighty… insightful… of you.”

They grow quiet for a moment, walking in mutual silence before Essik speaks again. “I have never been outside the Dynasty, but imagine it would be difficult living in an environment in which I am… unwelcome due to the nature of my birth. However,” he smiles softly, “You should take comfort; you have found yourself in a place where you can be appreciated for _who_ you are, not _what_ you offer.”

“I mean, Xhorhas is nice an’ all-“ Fjord starts, uncertain.

“I do not mean Xhorhas,” Essik interrupts. “I mean the Mighty Nein.”

At that Fjord stops walking. Essik stops as well and meets Fjord’s gaze, almost challenging him to question his assessment. Fjord says nothing for a moment, merely eyes Essik warily before asking with a weary sigh, “Which one of them put you up to this?”

“No one,” Essik lies smoothly. “I merely pay attention to my surroundings. You should do the same.”

At that he turns and moves up next to Caleb who smiles softly at him. He shifts Nott on his back and reaches out with his other hand to take Essik’s. Fjord watches the couple with a small pang of jealousy- not for either of them, but for what they’d managed to find despite everything. He’s jealous of what they’ve let themselves have. His eyes shift over to where Jester and Yeza are laughing drunkenly about something, then to where Yasha, Caduceus, and Beau are talking animatedly. After a moment, Beau glances back at him and frowns.

“Hey! Get up here, Fjord! Caduceus doesn’t believe that I beat Jester in that fight back at the Gentleman’s! Back me up, man!”

As Fjord approaches, he sees Beau and Essik share a look. He thinks he sees a small nod from Beau, which Essik subtly returns. Fjord decides not to question it; the fact that she went out of her way to have Essik say something in the first place just proves the drow’s point. He may not entirely trust Essik, but he trusts his friends, and maybe if they can easily accept a spy for the queen of the Dynasty, maybe they can accept a little orphan boy too.


	6. Nott

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Essik and Nott have one very important thing in common.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It wouldn’t be a Caleb-shipping fic if Nott didn’t step in to make some not-so-idle-threats, now would it? 
> 
> Thank you again for all the comments and kudos!!

 

 

**Nott**

 

“May I ask a personal question?”

They are lying in Essik’s bed, naked and spent. The question rouses Caleb, who’d been just on the edge of falling asleep in his lover’s arms. He stirs, presses a sleepy kiss to Essik’s chest, and murmurs a soft, “Ja.”

Essik’s breath catches at that little word. He’s found, in the weeks and months he’s spent getting to know Caleb, that one of his favorite things about the man (and there are many) is his accent. Essik loves the strange way Caleb’s tongue caresses certain words, especially Essik’s own name. Loves hearing Caleb refer to his friends with endearments he doesn’t understand. Loves the way Caleb mutters to himself in Zemnian when flustered or annoyed. Loves how foreign familiar spells sound when falling from his lips as he once again perfectly casts something Essik has just taught him. Adores the newly discovered lilting sound of common on Caleb’s lips as he begs _please, please Essik, more!_

Pulling away from those thoughts lest he distract himself too much, Essik shifts a little and asks, “What, exactly, is your relationship with Nott?”

Next to him, he feels Caleb tense ever so slightly. The wizard lifts up onto his elbows and turns to face Essik, expression guarded and a little uncertain. “How do you mean?”

Sighing, Essik sits up against the headboard, letting the sheet fall to his waist. “I do not mean to imply anything untoward or romantic,” he clarifies, “But your bond with her is… distinct. You regard her with such affection and care, I suppose I merely wondered what happened to cause the two of you to become so close.” He hesitates, then continues. “I apologize if I have offended you. I suppose I simply admire the closeness you two seem to share. I wondered of its origins.”

The look on Caleb’s face fades, but is quickly replaced by a more harrowed and contemplative one. He shifts, curling up beside Essik who wraps an arm around Caleb’s waist, pulling him close to his side. He presses a gentle kiss to the wizard’s temple, nuzzles his forehead against the same spot as he waits for Caleb.

“If it is too personal-“ he amends after a moment.

“Nein, no,” Caleb interrupts, “Just… thinking of how far back to go.”

Essik occupies himself by letting his fingers trail over Caleb’s arm, studying the pale skin and expanse of freckles that cover every inch of Caleb’s exposed body. He’d been delighted the first time he and Caleb had stumbled into his room, stripping themselves of their clothing, only for Essik to discover just how far the freckles dotted along Caleb. He intends to memorize their every detail, create constellations in the patterns that adorn his human’s skin.

When Caleb speaks, Essik is very nearly surprised, so caught up in his own lustful thoughts.

“She’s… my savior.”

Essik stills, his thoughts going silent. He waits for Caleb to continue.

“I was a prodigy once,” Caleb breathes, glancing at Essik with deeply etched sorrow in his eyes, “Like you. But too much was asked of me, as I have told the Bright Queen, and I could not do it. I broke. I lost many years. And when my mind was restored, I ran. Eventually I was imprisoned, and ended up sharing a cell with a little goblin girl. We worked together to escape, then agreed to stick together for safety, and… now I get to see her as the wife and a mother she is, and though things have changed for us, I still admire her just as much as when we met. She stuck by me when I thought I had no one. She convinced me to stay with this group, though she swore to follow me if I left. She protects me, though I’m sure the others think she coddles me. But, we have each other’s back. I am honored to be her friend.”

“High praise,” Essik admits, “I am glad she cares for you so.”

Beside him, Caleb snorts. “Someone had to, I suppose. It was not going to be me.”

Essik has no words for that. He knows there is nothing he could say to banish Caleb’s feelings of self-loathing. They’ve had a few discussion about his past, stemmed from when he’d confessed some things to the Bright Queen. It’s clear Caleb thinks a _little_ better of himself now, but Essik knows the look of a haunted man when he sees one. He knows there are no words to heal this wound. So he simply presses a kiss to Caleb’s shoulder and holds him a little tighter. Caleb sinks into the embrace, and Essik knows for the moment, it’s enough.

After a few minutes, Essik ventures questioningly: “Her husband calls her Veth.”

“Because she _is_ Veth,” Caleb whispers as he catches one of Essik’s hands in his own, idly linking their fingers together. “And she will be again.” There’s a determination in his voice that Essik takes to mean that one of Caleb’s many goals is to help his friend. His heart swells with adoration.

“The halfling form she took in the prison. That is… the...real her?”

Caleb shakes his head. “It is not my story to tell. It’s not that I do not trust you,” he pauses and tilts his head, kissing Essik softly as if to apologize, then continues, “But I would be upset if she told my story to someone without my permission. I would like to extend her the same courtesy.”

“I understand,” Essik does, and it’s true. He holds Caleb in high esteem, and to hear him speak so fondly of Nott, or Veth, boosts her up in his mind as well. “I merely wondered.”

***

The opportunity arises sooner than Essik anticipates. He’s in the library at the Xhorhaus reading while Caleb helps Jester with a ‘weasel related emergency’. Nearby at the lab, Nott and Yeza are either arguing or flirting over combustible chemicals, Essik isn’t sure which, and after a while he tunes them out to focus on the book. It’s another of Jester’s smutty novels, handed to him earlier by Caleb, who’d looked positively coy and beautiful as he’d suggested Essik read it while he ran upstairs.

The book is just as terrible as _Tusk Love,_ but nevertheless he finds himself engrossed. He hates himself for it, but he reads it anyway. So caught up in the story, he fails to notice the small figure that moves until her form blocks out the light by which he’d been reading.

Looking up, Essik blinks. “Can I help you?”

“Yes,” Nott says matter of fact. “I just want you to know that I’m watching you.”

Unable to help himself, Essik raises a brow, challenging her. “Oh?”

Her eyes narrow. “If you hurt my boy, I don’t care what political ramifications arise from my actions; I will kill you.”

Slowly, Essik closes the book. Normally he wouldn’t take kindly to threats, subtle or otherwise, but he respects this goblin, and so he will try to maintain his composure. “I assure you, your husband has nothing more to fear from me or the Dynasty.”

Nott scoffs and waves her hand. “I’m not talking about Yeza. I’m talking about _Caleb.”_

Essik sobers. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Nott says knowingly. “ _Oh._ Now, look. I like you,” she pauses, contemplative for a moment before amending her previous statement. “Mostly. But more importantly, Caleb likes you. But I just want you to know one very important thing, should you ever be tempted to hurt him for any reason.”

She pauses, waiting for his response. “What would you have me know?”

She leans a little closer, utilizing her goblin features to make her as intimidating as possible. “I died once to protect my husband and my son. I’m not afraid to die protecting Caleb now. Do you follow me?”

It’s a very good threat, vicious and, more importantly, _honest._ But something catches Essik’s attention and he tilts his head curiously. “You… died?”

“I did.” She offers nothing else.

“You are not-“

“Consecuted? No. I don’t really know _how_ I was brought back. Only that I was, and I was put in _this_ body-“ she gestures at herself with mild disgust. “But that’s beside the point. Don’t. Hurt. Him. If this is just a fling, that’s fine, so long as you tell him. If you’re using him to gain information- I know you technically can’t tell him that- but tell him anyway. If this is real, if you actually care for him…. then… good.”

Leaning forward slightly, Essik lifts his hand, palm up toward Nott. She glances down sharply, suspiciously, clearly expecting him to do something magical in retaliation. He doesn’t, simply waits for a moment before gesturing with his eyes that he wants her to take his hand. Slowly, she does.

He covers her small goblin claw with his other hand, squeezing gently. “You truly are Nott the Brave,” he whispers, unable to hide the awe in his voice, “Sacrificing yourself, traveling to unknown lands for your husband, threatening the Shadowhand to the Queen.” His lips twist up in an amused grin at the last one. “I commend you for your bravery, and wish to assure that I very much care for Caleb, and will happily be his for as long as he will have me.”

She studies him for a long moment, and he truly feels he is under a mother’s gaze. Despite their height difference, she manages to make him feel strangely small. “I care for him too. So as long as you treat him with respect and kindness, you’ll have nothing to fear from me.” 

Essik squeezes her hand assuringly. “I will do as you ask. And I will do whatever I can to reassure you that I have nothing but honest intentions toward Caleb.” He thinks it best not to mention his not-so-honest intentions. Those are between him and Caleb, and he doubts Nott would want to hear about the things he wants to do - and has done- to Caleb anyway.

She sniffs, regards him for a long moment, then pulls her hand away. “Well, if that’s the case,” she remarks, “As Kiri would say, ‘Welcome to the Mighty Nein’.” She pats his hand affectionately, then steps away. Her timing must have been planned, because no sooner does she make it back to her stool at the lab, Caleb enters.

“Nott,” he grumbles, looking annoyed and out of sorts, “Tell Jester that if she so much as _looks_ at me the rest of the night, I will paint over every. Single. Dick. In this house. I will find them _all_ and I will get _rid_ of them.”

Nott winces. “Weasel rescue not go as planned?”

He holds up his arm where there are several cuts and bite marks across his skin. “What do you think?”

Nott makes a face and hops down to grab the small first aid kit on the shelf. “Go sit next to your boyfriend; I’ll clean you up.”

Caleb looks over at Essik who is watching the whole exchange with a curious look. Caleb goes to the sofa and sits down next to Essik, boldly leaning his head on the drow’s shoulder. “Please tell me you have plans to whisk me away from here this evening?”

Nott approaches with the kit, and after a shared look between her and Essik, she allows him to take it from her. She steps back, watching like a hawk, as Essik cleans and wraps the cuts on Caleb’s arm.

“I can arrange something,” he soothes before glancing back to Nott. “Would you and Yeza like to join us? My treat.”

Nott‘s eyes widen for a moment before sheepishly she admits,“ I… do have a new dress I haven’t had occasion to wear.”

“Then go clean up and fetch your husband.”

Nott grins and looks at Caleb sharply. “You break up with him,” she threatens softly, “I’m boxing your ears.” With that, she turns and exits the room.

Caleb blinks and swallows thickly. He spares a glance to Essik who is purposely not making eye contact. “What did she say to you?”

Essik shrugs. “Nothing,” he says as he ties off the bandage and leans close to press a soft kiss to Caleb’s lips. “We merely discovered some common ground.”


	7. Frumpkin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chance encounter leads Essik to reflect on what exactly he wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen if Essik doesn’t like Frumpkin, then there is no hope for these two. Come on Essik, be a cat person! 
> 
> Thank you everyone for your comments! I’m so glad you guys are enjoying this story. It’s been so much fun to write! Two more chapters to go!

 

 

**Frumpkin**

 

It’s not often that the Xhorhaus is empty, but today is a blessed day, and everyone is gone. Fjord and Yasha are visiting Wursh; Jester, Nott, and Yeza are out shopping. Caduceus joined Beau at the Marble Tome, hoping to discuss the agriculture of the country with someone there while Beau researches.

Any other time, Caleb would have been right there with her, nose buried in a book. But today he finds he doesn’t care so much for the library when he has a beautiful drow master of Dunamancy pinning him to his bed, pressing heated kisses down the column of his throat.

They’d been reading, in the library-slash-lab, huddled close together over an ancient tome. But one thing led to another, and not long after the door to the house slammed shut for the final time, they found themselves shoving the book aside and retreating to Caleb’s room for… other pursuits.

Now, Essik and Caleb rush to strip each other of their clothing, any care for the fine garments lost in the need to be as close to each other as quickly as possible. In the few times prior when they’ve been alone like this, they’ve taken their time, savored one another. But those times had been in the comfort of Essik’s home, where time and silence and privacy are in abundance. Here those things are a luxury Caleb can scarcely afford, and so they throw clothing haphazardly as their hands grasp and caress and drive the other frantically to completion.

Once they have their fill of each other for the moment, they recline in Caleb’s bed, catching their breath and savoring the quiet before they know they need to rise and dress. Caleb is certain the others will be back soon, and as loathe as he is to leave the comfort of Essik’s embrace, he knows they need to make themselves presentable.

And, if he’s honest, that book they’d been studying had been rather fascinating. But that means getting up, and leaving Essik’s embrace.

Caleb sighs softly. It’s quite lovely to have such a dilemma.

He feels a soft kiss against his temple and he turns his head to regard Essik. “Everything alright?” The drow asks.

“Perfect,” Caleb answers, leaning close to brush his lips against Essik’s. They linger for a few more minutes softly swapping kisses before reluctantly rising and gathering their clothing. Once they are dressed, Essik pulls Caleb into his arms and kisses him soundly one last time before they exit the room. Just as they settle back on the sofa with the tome in hand, the copper wind chime signals the arrival of one group of the Nein and there is a sudden banging on the library door.

“Cay-leb!” Jester yells as she continues knocking. “Come here!”

“Why?” Caleb calls back.

“I have something for you! So you should come out here and get it!” Jester calls out before gasping. “Are you having _sex_ right now?”

Essik’s eyes widen in astonishment at her brazen questioning. Then again, he figures, this is the same person who shoves smutty novels into strangers hands and paints hidden dicks all over the walls. Why _wouldn’t_ she ask such a question?

“We are not having sex,” Caleb calls out, rolling his eyes as he stands and passes Essik the book, throwing him an apologetic look as he does so.

“Then unlock the door! I have something for you!”

“Ja, ja, I am coming-“ Caleb replies before stopping in his tracks and groaning. “Schiesse-“

There’s a mischievous giggle on the other side of the door. “Is that because you two are having se-“

Caleb wrenches the door open to see a grinning Jester on the other side.

“Does it _look_ like I’m having sex?” He huffs, gesturing to where he stands before her, fully dressed.

“I mean, maybe wizards can do all kinds of weird sexy stuff with magic-“

Caleb shoves her away from the door, hands on her shoulders as he guides her away. “Let’s go see what you have for me.” He calls out behind him, “I will be right back!” And then he’s gone.

Essik places the book on the table with a long suffering sigh. He’s well aware by this point that with Jester being involved, his lover may be a gone for several minutes.

It’s no matter; he’s content to wait. Alternatively, he supposes he _could_ get up and go out there as well, and for a moment the idea doesn’t sound quite so bad. He’d probably have to deal with Jester’s teasing but now that he knows she’s just a cheerful little agent of chaos who is only trying to make others happy with her (usually) harmless pranks and questions, he doesn’t mind quite so much. He’s not sure how he feels about her outright asking after their sex life, however. That’s still new, and while Essik has absolutely no complaints, he’s not sure he particularly wants to have a chat with Jester over drinks about how Caleb is in bed.

Before he can commit to either choice- stay here or venture out to potentially rescue Caleb- he finds the decision has been made for him. A soft weight lands on his lap and he glances down to find he is trapped by his wizard’s familiar.

“Oh,” Essik breathes with a fond look. “Hello there.”

Frumpkin looks up at him for a moment before stretching up to butt his head against Essik’s chin. It surprises him a little; Caleb usually keeps Frumpkin elsewhere while they study. Essik has seen him a few times, but has had very little interaction with the feline, though it certainly hasn’t been intentional.

Frumpkin moves, his tail whacking Essik’s face before settling onto his lap, making biscuits in Essik’s expensive robe. The drow instinctively moves to extract Frumpkin’s claws from his clothing, but the rumbling purr that begins softly thrumming from the cat makes him stop short. He looks down at the cat, then slowly lifts his hand and begins to pet him, smiling softly as Frumpkin tilts his head back, eyes closed and an expression that is very nearly what Essik thinks is a smile. The purring grows louder, and Essik can’t help himself. He smiles softly and bends down, pressing his lips to the cats head, laughing when Frumpkin throws his head back, bumping into Essik’s nose.

“You’re almost as cuddly as your master,” Essik remarks softly. “I have to wonder if that’s intentional.”

Frumpkin meows in reply, then stands long enough to turn around and nuzzle against Essik’s chin before hopping up onto his shoulder and draping himself around Essik’s neck like a scarf. Surprised, Essik reaches up and scratches under Frumpkin’s chin, finding the purr quite enjoyable. He turns his head to look at the cat out of the corner of his eye. “Does this mean you approve, then?”

He feels the sharp sting of Frumpkin’s claws digging into his shoulder before the cat gently head butts his cheek.

“Let me guess, ‘hurt him and you’ll kill me’?”

Frumpkin’s tail swoops around and smacks him in the face. Essik sputters. “I’m taking that as a yes.”

Out of the corner of his eye he sees something shift and he turns to see Caleb leaning against the doorframe, looking a mix of amused and delighted.

“I wondered where he got to.”

At the sound of his master’s voice, Frumpkin perks up and leaps off Essik to rush over to Caleb. He climbs up the wizard’s leg and settles on his shoulders just as he’d been around Essik’s.

“We were just having a chat,” Essik explains as he stands to greet Caleb.

“You went easy on him, I hope,” Caleb addresses the cat affectionately as he scratches his chin. Frumpkin nuzzles against Caleb’s cheek, causing the wizard to smile softly before he presses a series of kisses to the cat’s face. Essik feels a strange pang in his chest, sharp and lovely and bright.

 _By the Light,_ he thinks, stunned, _I’m falling for him._

Caleb glances at Essik, and the look on the drow’s face causes the wizard’s brow to furrow. “Everything okay?”

Stepping forward, Essik pulls Caleb into his arms. “Perfect,” he says before he kisses Caleb. He pulls back after a moment with a frown, and wipes Caleb’s lips with his hand, then glances down at his robes which now have a very thin layer of fur covering them. “Cat hair. Everywhere.”

Caleb frowns. “I’m sorry. Here, I can-“ he lifts his hand to snap Frumpkin away. Quickly, Essik reaches out and catches Caleb’s hand.

“That’s unnecessary.” He waits a moment, until he’s certain Caleb won’t banish the cat, then reaches out to pet Frumpkin once more.

“Are you sure? Hey!” Caleb laughs as Frumpkin’s tail whacks the wizard’s head as he purrs at the attention from the drow, lifting his chin so Essik can better pet him.

“He is your familiar,” Essik reminds Caleb gently. “I’d wager the only other opinion that holds as much weight as his regarding my… presence... in your life… is Nott’s. And I’d like to remain in both of their good graces.”

Caleb regards Essik for a moment, then smiles softly, relief in his eyes. It’s a look that he’s expressed more frequently around Essik, and the drow has noticed that outside a few select grins at Nott and exasperated smiles at Jester, this look is reserved solely for him: a look that seems to say _thank you for putting up with me._

Essik hardly considers it _putting up with him,_ but he knows Caleb struggles with acceptance. So he doesn’t try to argue the point, merely allows his actions to prove what Caleb cannot always convince himself is true. Caleb is not a simple man by any means, but Essik has quickly learned that the means in which to making Caleb happy are: teach him magic, kiss him (but only when alone), get along with his friends, and agree Frumpkin is the best cat ever.

 _Done and done,_ Essik thinks.

For all his sorrow, it is surprisingly easy, Essik thinks, to make Caleb happy. And making Caleb happy has quickly risen to the top of the list of things that are extremely important to Essik. He wants to see Caleb happy. Selfishly, he wants to see Caleb happy _because_ of him. He wants to know that he has done something right, that Caleb’s rare smiles become more frequent because of Essik’s words and actions. He’s never felt like this before; has never felt joy in the act of pleasing another simply for the sake of it. He wants to please his Queen, but that’s out of love for his country and a desire to do his job well. This- _this_ is something else entirely. This is borne out of a desire for another to be happy- happy enough to accept his kisses, happy enough to accept his affections. Perhaps one day he’ll be happy enough to accept his love.

Maybe one day he’ll even love him back. 

Essik shakes that thought from his mind. He’s getting ahead of himself. He isn’t going to rush this; isn’t going to make assumptions or take for granted what he has while hoping for more. For now he has Caleb, the two of them covered in cat hair and surrounded by the growing loudness of the home as others begin to trickle in from their errands.

For now, this is more than enough.

“Besides,” Essik remarks idly, “A little cat hair never hurt anyone.”

After a moment, Caleb snorts, and that beautiful smile grows wider. “Tell that to Fjord.”

Essik pauses. “...What?”

Caleb shakes his head and pulls Essik down for a kiss. “Nothing. Now, come here.”


	8. Mollymauk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An innocent question leads to reminiscing about the fallen and introspection about the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen Molly may gone, but he’s still part of the Mighty Nein and I’m going to include him. 
> 
> Thank you for your comments and kudos! As always they genuinely make my day.

 

 

**Mollymauk**

  
  


They’re all in the main living area, celebrating a victory for the Bright Queen. A vicious plot by the Empire had been interrupted thanks to Jester’s scrying and the group’s quick response, and the Bright Queen had ordered a banquet in their honor. It had been a lovely affair, elegant and elaborate, which the Mighty Nein agreed wasn’t quite their style. 

They stayed as long as they considered respectable, then had grabbed Essik and snuck back to their house for a party fit for a group of misfit adventurers. Essik sips a glass of cheap wine, and though he’s certainly had better, he cannot complain about the company. The group knows how to party, even if it is a little uncouth. 

But as it stands, he’s seated next to Caleb, listening absently as Fjord recounts a tale of their fighting a blue dragon. Normally he’d be engrossed in a story, such a blatant display of their ability, but instead he’s staring at the wall, convinced Jester is lying about there being nine dicks. In all his time here, he still has only found seven, and after inquiring with Beauregard, he is even more convinced that Jester is lying to them all. 

As he searches, his eyes settle on the image of the purple tiefling on the mural. His red eyes shine bright, and his smile is so lively that it seems impossible that he’s only paint on a wall. As he studies the image, the conversation lulls and Jester speaks up. “Whatcha looking at, Essik?”

He glances back at her, uncertain if he should press the subject. It’s clear the purple tiefling is a fallen comrade. Even a fool could piece that together. But he knows very little of the person in question, and he can’t help but be curious. He points toward the wall. 

“Would you tell me of that one? The other tiefling.” 

The room goes quiet for a moment. A somber mood fills the air, and he notices that Beau averts her eyes and Jester sighs. Caleb shifts beside him a little, and Essik frowns. “I apologize-“ 

His words are cut off by Jester’s giggle. “Remember that time Molly had a threesome at the inn and walked into our room wearing only his tapestry?”

Beau snorts. “God that was so obnoxious,” she lets out a small sound, a mix between a laugh and a sob, and adds, “What about that time he lectured those bandits who tried to rob us, told them we all had syphilis, and then  _ paid  _ them?” 

Nott smiles. “I remember when he danced with me.” 

Yasha smiles softly. “He was the first person I talked to about Zuala. He hugged me and the next day brought me a blank book.” 

“Your flower book,” Jester breathes, eyes shining with tears. 

“Yes,” Yasha replies, a soft smile on her lips. 

“What about the hospital scenario,” Caleb murmurs softly. Fjord groans and buries his head in his hands. 

“I don’t want to remember the hospital scenario,” he murmurs. 

“Oh yeah!” Jester laughs. “He painted his dick with like eggs and mayonnaise! It was  _ so gross _ !”

“I remember his face when he saw the fireworks in Hupperdook,” Beau continues. 

“He looked happy that night,” Nott agrees. 

One by one, the group continues to share stories of the tiefling- Mollymauk. They tell Essik of his bright clothing and brighter personality, how he’d been obnoxious and ostentatious but still loving and caring in his own way. 

“He was a handful at times,” Caleb says quietly. “I think you would have liked him.” 

Beau snorts. “ _ Like _ him? Caleb, he’d have tried to get into Essik’s pants within ten minutes of knowing him!”

Essik blinks, mildly alarmed and looks at Caleb who is trying to stifle a laugh. “She’s not wrong,” he murmurs to Essik. “You are very attractive. I would have had to fight him for your affection, most likely.” 

“Nah,” Nott waves her hand. “He’d probably just invite you to join them,” she pauses and makes a face. “I need a drink to forget I said that.” 

“To Molly!” Beau declares, as she raises a glass, smiling despite her tears. “To that obnoxious motherfucker who would have  _ loved  _ this place.”

“To Molly!” Jester echos, “To the only tiefling who could be as awesome as me!”

“To Molly,” Yasha repeats softly, “For living on in our hearts.”

“To Molly!” The others echo. 

“To leaving every place better than we find it,” Caleb says, and a mix of laughs and sniffles fill the air before they all drink deep. 

Beau lowers her tankard and wipes her eyes hastily before looking at Essik, offering him a soft smile. He notes it’s one of her better ones. “Thanks, man. It’s been a while since we included Molly in our celebrations.” She glances to Yasha. “We should do that more.” 

“Here, here,” several others agree. 

“Oh!” Jester exclaims, “Let’s go get in the hot tub in his honor!” She hops up and runs toward the other room where the hot tub she and Caduceus had crafted sits. Yasha and Nott move to follow her, and Beau lingers for a moment, staring at the picture before raising her glass once more. 

“Obnoxious one,” She salutes, then drains her glass and follows. Caduceus and Yeza make their way toward the tub speaking softly. Fjord stands and lightly pats the wall where Molly’s smiling face is permanently happy and full of life.

“To the worst roommate ever,” he says before making his way toward the tub. He stops and glances back at Essik and Caleb. “You two coming?”

Caleb glances at Essik. “We’ll be right there.”

Fjord nods and heads out of the room. Caleb stands and holds out a hand for Essik. He takes it and allows Caleb to pull him to his feet. Caleb looks up at the mural, at the smiling face of Mollymauk and smiles softly. “I’m not sure he would have felt about having his face on the mural,” Caleb remarks softly, “But a half-drunken hot tub party in his name? That is definitely how he would want us to remember him.” 

“He certainly seems to have left an impression,” Essik muses. “No one spoke of… what happened.” 

Caleb shakes his head. “It’s not a happy story. And I think Beau takes it the hardest since he died protecting her.” 

“I imagine that would create substantial guilt, even if unwarranted.” 

Caleb nods. “We all blame ourselves. We were trying to rescue Yasha, Jester, and Fjord. They’d been captured by this… monster-“ he hisses out the name- “ _ Lorenzo _ . We tried to ambush him and his caravan. We were outnumbered and outclassed. Nott couldn’t get the locks open. An ally had wrong information and froze in the fight. None of us could heal. I couldn’t get close because I knew I would be killed in an instant if that man got close enough to me. But Molly didn’t care. Beau was in danger and he gave everything to keep her safe. We… all blame ourselves, I think, but no one has the heart to actually admit that… it was no one’s fault. Except for the man who shoved a glaive into my friend’s chest.” 

Essik watches as anger flashes through Caleb’s eyes, bright with hatred. “We avenged him, but… it is not the same.” 

“I suppose it never is,” Essik agrees. “It is a wound that never fully heals.” 

“No, it does not,” Caleb agrees with a sigh. “He has a motto:’ leave every place better than you find it’. I think we are all trying to adopt that way of thinking, especially Beau. She seeks penance for something that she’ll never find peace over.” 

Essik recalls Caleb’s tale of when he’d been cast away by the Scourgers. Understands that Caleb is speaking from experience. Knows that he’s felt that same drive himself. But then he thinks of the good the Nein have done in Xhorhas- how the Dynasty is already better than they found it. 

Though he never knew him, Essik can feel the impact left by the tiefling. He feels it here, in the love he holds for Caleb; in the affection he has for the Mighty Nein. He sees it, in the way this group has nearly single-handedly changed the tide of a war that once seemed so hopeless. 

“I hope she finds that peace, someday,” Essik remarks. “I hope we all do.” 

“It’s what Molly would have wanted, I think,” Caleb agrees. “He would want us to be happy.”

“I hope you can be happy someday,” Essik replies.  _ I hope I can be one source of that happiness.  _

He’s surprised when Caleb turns and presses a tender kiss to the drow’s lips. “I am happier than I have been in a long time,” Caleb confesses, “Right here, in this moment, with you.” 

Essik cups Caleb’s cheeks and offers a kiss of his own. “As am I.” 


	9. Caleb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Essik hears something he shouldn’t, and finally says something he should have said sooner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kind words and kudos on the last chapter. I’m really glad everyone enjoyed the inclusion of Molly in this story. There was no way I could have left him out. Once a member of the Mighty Nein, always a member of the Mighty Nein. 
> 
> Also. I know Matt has spoken and said his name is actually spelled Essek Thelyss or whatever but this is MY fanfic, and I refuse to abide by the canon spelling of his name. We started this fic with Essik, we’re gonna end the damn thing with Essik.
> 
> Only the epilogue to go!!!!

 

 

**Caleb**

 

Essik enters the Xhorhaus without knocking. He doesn’t need to; he’s been told more than once that his presence is welcome any time he wishes, and the alarms Caleb had set up have been altered to allow his entry. More than that,  _ he _ feels comfortable entering the home without knocking. It’s a courtesy he is unused to, but he understands it for what it is: a sign of trust and friendship, and so he simply pushes the door open and steps inside. 

Upon entrance, the chime clangs together to announce his arrival and Essik braces himself for any number of people to come running to greet him, as they usually do. But after a few seconds, Essik realizes with a mild twinge of concern that no one is making their way toward him. He takes a moment to worry if he’s perhaps too early (or worse, that something terrible has happened) but then he hears Nott and Fjord bickering in the kitchen. There’s a clattering of cookery, and then Caduceus says something that sounds like gentle chiding. 

Everything is fine. 

But rather than make his way toward the kitchen, he moves toward the library door, knowing well enough by now that Caleb will be inside. 

When he reaches the door, he lifts a hand to the handle, knowing that when he opens the door, Caleb will look up and his brow, furrowed from concentration, will ease up. His frown will even out into the gentlest of smiles and his eyes will sparkle with some emotion Essik can’t quite understand, but loves to see all the same. Then he will stand, greet him with a slight head bow, and then they will meet, Essik’s hands cupping his face while Caleb’s arms wind around his waist as their lips will meet for a soft kiss. Caleb will ask if Essik is well, and Essik will reply that he, “is now,” which will cause Caleb to flush and duck his head down shyly, even after all these months. Essik will then place a kiss on top of Caleb’s head, pet Frumpkin if he is nearby, then they will either practice Dunamancy or read or simply sit together and discuss magical theory or some other academic pursuit. 

It’s simple, it’s consistent, and it’s everything Essik never knew he wanted in life. 

Today however, as he reaches for the handle, he hears Caleb speaking, worry making his accent thicker. He doesn’t catch Caleb’s words, but he hears Beauregard reply, as abrasive as ever. 

“You’re being stupid, Caleb.”

Essik takes offense on his lover’s behalf at that. Caleb is  _ far _ from stupid. But he knows this conversation isn’t meant for him, and so he makes to move away, knowing that Caleb would not appreciate anyone eavesdropping on his private conversation with Beauregard. 

But then he hears her say his name, and, well…

“You don’t know that,” he hears Caleb answer. 

“I  _ know _ that he looks just as stupid and smitten as you every time you two lay eyes on each other,” Beauregard huffs. “Come on, man. You really think he doesn’t love you? I will bet you  _ one hundred gold  _ that he is completely in love with you.” 

Essik’s heart leaps in his chest, both in shock over the topic at hand, and at how easily it seems Beauregard can read him. Is he really so obvious? Essik presses a little closer to the door. 

“But Beauregard-”

She quickly cuts him off. “If you say something stupid like, ‘oh I’m so unlovable because of shit I’ve done in my past’ then I am going to punch you in the face.”

“Please don’t,” Caleb says in a hurried manner that more than hints at his having experienced said punching before. 

“Then get your head out of your ass!” Beau snaps at him. “You love him, right?” 

“Of course I do,” Caleb replies with an indignant huff, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. 

Anything else that is said falls on deaf ears as Essik turns away from the door, hand pressed to his agape mouth. 

Caleb loves him. 

It’s not how he wanted to find out, but even still, it settles something in his chest that has been aflutter with anxiety since the moment he realized he was falling in love with Caleb. The fear that this wouldn’t work, that they are too different, that Caleb will want to leave has plagued him for months now, and rather than be reasonable and actually  _ talk _ to Caleb about it, he has allowed himself to be silenced by his own fear. 

“You can’t let those things stop you from having happiness, man!” Beau says, drawing his attention back to the conversation. “He already knows about the shit you did, he knows how absolutely ridiculous our friends are, he  _ gets along _ with most of them, and he doesn’t seem to care that we’re like… still loyal to the Empire-“ 

“I am  _ not _ loyal to the  _ Empire,”  _ Caleb hisses. 

“The fuckin’  _ people _ man; you know I don’t mean the douchebag king and his minions and shit. We still  _ care _ about our  _ home _ and he doesn’t seem to mind. I’m just saying,” she pauses, huffs, and waits a moment before speaking again, this time much more calmly and gently. “I’m just saying. You have spent a lot of time trying to convince everyone around you that you are unlovable. And none of us bought it. Nott loves you. Jester loves you.  _ I _ love you. You are my brother, Caleb, and I want to see you finally allow yourself to be happy. Like,  _ really happy _ . And I think that Essik is someone who makes you happy in a way none of us can. Don’t- don’t throw that away because  _ you  _ think you’re unworthy. Maybe give him the benefit of the doubt that he sees what we see; that he sees someone worth breaking through all those walls you seem fond of putting up. He’s good for you, man. You’re… lighter… when you’re with him. You gotta quit punishing yourself. Because if you do, then you’ll be punishing him too, and I know you love him too much to want to hurt him, right?” 

“Right,” Caleb murmurs. 

“Then  _ tell _ him. Stop having this conversation with me and have it with him. I can’t tell you what he’ll say, but I have a fucking good idea I know what it’ll be anyways.” 

There’s a moment of silence before Caleb sighs. “Okay. Okay. I will talk to him tonight.”

“I can suggest we go to Dims for after dinner drinks if you want to pretend to want to discuss something nerdy. That way you’ll have the place to yourself.” 

“Danke,” Caleb says, “That would be wunderbar.” 

“Come ‘ere, man.” And though Essik cannot see, he knows that Beau has pulled Caleb into a tight hug. 

Deciding to make his leave before he’s caught, Essik turns and moves quickly to the kitchen where he is greeted by the rest of the group and is instantly given the task of uncorking a bottle of wine. 

As he’s pouring, Caleb and Beau enter the kitchen. Essik looks up in time to see Caleb notice him. He watches as Caleb’s furrowed brow seems to relax from where he’d been deep in thought. A small smile, only for Essik, ghosts across his lips, and his eyes sparkle in a manner in which Essik now recognizes as love. 

Caleb loves him.

It takes everything in him not to set down the glass and sweep Caleb into his arms, but he resists. Instead he nods to Caleb who moves to stand next to him. “Hallo,” he whispers. No kisses are exchanged. Neither enjoy public displays of affection, and so they merely gravitate close, an unspoken promise to make up for it later between them. 

“Good evening, my dear,” Essik replies softly, handing Caleb a glass of wine. Caleb takes it gratefully, taking a small sip before looking at Essik. 

“Are you well?” 

Essik’s heart somersaults in his chest. He’s never felt better. 

Caleb loves him. 

“I am now.” 

*** 

After dinner Beau suggests the group head out for drinks at the Dims Inn. The others are quick to agree, but Caleb declines, looking at Essik apologetically.

“I actually had a question about the last spell you taught me. Perhaps we could talk for a moment and then catch up?” 

“Of course,” Essik agrees easily, masking his nerves with a tone of gentle indifference. 

After some teasing from Jester about “discussing magic” being code for sex, the others leave, and it’s only Essik and Caleb in the house. 

Wordlessly, Caleb leads Essik to the library, and spends ten minutes setting up the alarm- a nervous tick Essik knows better to question. He wants Caleb to feel safe, so he merely sits with Frumpkin, giving him scratches and pets while Caleb works. 

Finally Caleb turns around, hands wringing together nervously. He looks at Frumpkin longingly for a moment, then simply shoves his hands into his pockets. “I don’t actually have a question,” he confesses. 

“I know,” Essik replies, gently moving Frumpkin before brushing off the cat hair from his clothing and moving to where Caleb stands. “Before you speak, I wish to be forthright: I arrived a bit early this evening, and heard a small part of your conversation with Beauregard. It was unintentional at first, but upon hearing my name, I confess to giving in to my curiosity.” 

Caleb deflates visibly. “Oh.” 

Essik places one hand on Caleb’s shoulder, the other hand cupping his cheek. “Before you worry yourself into a frenzy or start to second guess yourself, allow me to assure you that any declaration you choose to make this evening will be wholeheartedly returned.”

A small breath leaves Caleb. Where his eyes had been locked on Essik’s neck- the area he tends to look at when speaking to Essik rather than meeting his eyes- they now shoot up. Blue locks with gold, and Caleb visibly trembles. 

“You… do?” It’s so small, so heartbreakingly uncertain that Essik feels tears well up, threatening to fall. 

“I do,” he whispers. “And have for some time. I had my own fears on the matter, and thought it prudent to remain silent. But I cannot do so any longer, knowing my own silence may have caused you undue worry.”

“You… love me,” Caleb breathes, eyes wide in shock. The fact that it is so shocking that someone could possibly love him makes Essik determined to love him even more. 

“I love you,” Essik replies, and it feels  _ so good _ to say aloud. Instantly his heart feels lighter, feels the way it did when he cast a spell for the first time. It feels  _ right.  _

“I love you as well,” Caleb breathes, and Essik sees the same relief, the same bewilderment in Caleb’s eyes. 

“Isn’t that fortuitous?” Essik says teasingly, “We are of one mind on the matter.” 

Caleb laughs at that, and steps closer to Essik, arms winding around the drow’s waist and head pressed to Essik’s shoulder.

“I suppose it would be a waste to try and argue all the reasons why you shouldn’t?” 

“I believe Beauregard covered my side of the debate quite well, though perhaps far less elegantly than I would have preferred.” 

Caleb huffs a small laugh. “Then I won’t argue.” 

“It’s for the best, really,” Essik agrees. “Why argue when we could utilize our privacy for more enjoyable pursuits?” 

“A compelling argument,” Caleb agrees as he glancesup at Essik. “But perhaps you could do a little more convincing?” 

Essik leans down and and presses a kiss to Caleb’s lips. “I love you,” he breathes. 

“I love you too,” Caleb replies, before pulling Essik towards his bedroom. 

*** 

They don’t catch up to the others. 

However, after a while, as they lie together in bed discussing the practicalities of establishing a more serious relationship between them, Caleb’s eyes widen mid-sentence and he sits up, yanking himself out of Essik’s embrace to drop his head in his hands with a groan. 

Essik sits up, hand gently stroking Caleb’s back in an instant desire to offer comfort. “What is the matter?” 

From behind his hands Caleb moans, “Now I owe Beauregard one hundred gold!” 


	10. Epilogue: The Mighty Nein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Essik has an important question to ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, this is the end. I’ve had a blast writing this story and am glad so many of you enjoyed it as well. Thank you for all your kind words and kudos. 
> 
> A couple things about the story, just as a FYI: the timeline of events takes place roughly over the course of a year. In that time, the Nein have done more jobs and tasks that revolve around the war, but I didn’t really want to put down specifics that way this story can hopefully work regardless of how the canon story goes. So vague mentions of the Assembly being brought down are mentioned, but how and by whom is left vague to keep it simple, especially since that isn’t the focus of the story. 
> 
> Anyway. On to the epilogue!

 

 

**Epilogue: The Mighty Nein**

  


The group are gathered in Essik’s study. Fjord, Nott, Yeza, and Caduceus sit on the couch while Jester and Beau sit on the floor in front of them. Yasha stands behind the couch, arms crossed over her chest as they all wait for Essik to explain himself.

“I assume you want to know why I have asked you here,” he remarks simply as he offers them all drinks. Most decline. Nott doesn’t.

“Yes,” Fjord says as he accepts a glass of brandy before Beau interjects.

“And why you don’t want Caleb here for-“ she pauses then gestures vaguely,  “Whatever this is.”

“ _This_ ,” Essik explains as he takes a seat across from them. “Is a drow custom; one that has never held much significance to me until now.”

“And what is it, exactly?” Nott asks, giving him a suspicious look that hints she might already know.

“Well,” Essik explains as he stands, using his magic to allow him to float a couple inches off the ground as he moves. “It is quite simple: when two drow agree they wish to marry, each partner hosts a meeting with the other’s family to seek their blessing of the union. If there are any objections, they are addressed, hopefully resolved, and then the couple begins preparations for the marriage ceremony.”

Beau is the first one to pick up her jaw off the floor, so she is the first to speak. “You’re asking our permission to marry Caleb?!”

It seems her words help everyone else understand what Essik just said. Jester and Nott squeal; Yasha smiles softly. Fjord exchanges a glance with Caduceus.

“No,” Essik corrects gently. “Caleb is a grown man with his own agency. He needs no one’s _permission._ This is an act of trust between the couple, as well as a courtesy to the people closest to him to ensure there are no objections against the union. You are giving your final approval of our bond, and declaring you support the union, if for any reason outside parties may contest it.”

“Why would anyone contest it?” Fjord asks.

“It is rare,” Essik explains. “But every so often someone may contest a unionby claiming they are already betrothed to one of the individuals. Typically it only occurs when an arranged marriage has been broken. This meeting- your blessing- is a way to show legitimacy to the arrangement, that both parties are willingly entering into such a union, and gives credence to the couple as two who are a proper match.”

“Oh.”

“So,” Nott speaks up softly, eyeing Essik with motherly concern, “You want our blessing to marry Caleb.”

“I would very much appreciate it, yes, if you are willing to give it.”

“Does Caleb know you’re doing this?” Beau asks, skeptical as always. “I’m not sure springing a proposal on him will go well, no matter how much he likes you.”

Essik recalls when Beau had practically threatened to beat up Caleb if he didn’t confess his feelings to Essik. Now she’s ready to cut him off, step in the way of things in order to protect Caleb if she deems this situation unsafe or undesirable for him.

Of all of Caleb’s friends, Essik never expected Beauregard to be the one he would come to respect the most.

“There will be no _springing_ ,” Essik replies. “Caleb and I have had several discussions about our futures, and he is aware that all of you are here. In fact, tomorrow we are meeting with my inner circle for the very same thing.”

“We?” Jester asks, head tilted curiously. “Are you going with him?”

“Only because he asked me,” Essik explains, “He worried he might say the wrong thing, and asked if I could accompany him to ensure he does not break any social courtesies. Normally it is unheard of, but our case is… special. I do not wish for him to be uncomfortable.”

“Wow,” Beau sighs, impressed. “Caleb’s getting married. Never would have thought he’d manage that.”

“That’s not nice, Beau!” Jester chides as Nott glares down at the monk. “Caleb is nice and smart and he’s very handsome and he’s really weak but his magic is cool-“

“I concur,” Essik mumbles under his breath. Fjord and Yasha both choke down a small laugh.

“So you two talked about this,” Fjord says, trying to keep the conversation on topic.

“We have. Marriage is not a matter to be taken lightly in the Dynasty. We do not enter- nor end- such covenants easily. Had the two of us not been in complete agreement on the matter, I would not have invited you here for this meeting.”

“I mean, _I_ totally give you my blessing,” Jester says, hands clasped to her heart. “You make Caleb so happy, Essik! This is so great!” She gasps. “But like seriously. How are you going to propose?”

Essik blinks. “I… propose what? We have already agreed-“

“You aren’t going to propose!” Nott screeches, causing Yeza to grimace beside her. “That’s unacceptable, Mr. Essik!”

Essik glances to Fjord for help. Fjord sighs. “I don’t think they do proposals in Xhorhas the way they do in the Empire and Nicodranis, you two.”

“But it would be _so romantic_ ,” Jester exclaims as she hops up. “We could help you if you want to do it!”

“But would Caleb _want_ a proposal?” Yasha asks softly, “He seems content with the arrangement at hand.”

“ _Yasha,_ ” Jester whines, “Caleb needs to be swept off his feet with something _super_ romantic!”

Essik sighs, forehead pressed to his hand. “I suspect I will regret asking this, but how does one… propose marriage in the Empire?”

“ _Ohmygosh_ !” Jester exclaims. “Okay so first you have to buy a ring and then you do a really grand gesture like-“ she stops and gasps, “Okay so you remember how in _Tusk Love_ when Oskar shows up at-“

“We are _not_ giving Essik proposal advice from a _porn book_ , Jester,” Beau groans.

“It’s not _porn,”_ Jester argues, “It’s _smutty romance.”_

“Pretty sure there’s not much difference,” Fjord mutters under his breath. He meets Essik’s gaze and gives a long suffering sigh and the two share a sympathetic look.

“Maybe,” Nott says as she puts her hands on Jester’s arms to settle her down, “Something simple- if you wanted to do it,” she amends quickly. “Caleb likes books. You could always get one of those little boxes that _looks_ like a book but isn’t, and place a ring in there and give it to him.”

“That’s not bad,” Jester agrees, though it’s with less enthusiasm than before.

“You could tie the ring onto Frumpkin’s tail and let him find it,” Yasha muses aloud. “Maybe have him carry a little note that asks if he’ll marry you?”

“So... I am to understand that an Empire proposal is a sentimental gesture and an offering of a ring?”

“That’s it in a nutshell, yeah,” Beau shrugs. “But, I don’t think you should feel pressured-“ she glances at Jester with a sidelong look- “To do anything if that’s not your thing.”

Essik considers their words for a long moment before finally speaking. “Since you are offering ideas on how to propose, shall I make the bold assumption that I have your blessing?”

The group looks at each other, silently communicating whether anyone has any qualms with it.

“I mean,” Beau says, “We live here; some of us plan to venture back and forth but like, it’s not like we’re just dumping Caleb here and peacing out.”

“And you two can always come with us on adventures,” Jester adds, “Though since things have calmed down a bunch we aren’t really busy these days.”

“I think,” Nott interjects, “That’s not exactly what he’s after. She takes a few steps toward Essik and looks up at him. “Do you love him?”

Essik nods. “I do.”

“Do you trust him?”

“With my life.”

“Are you going to care for him, no matter how difficult he might make it?”

“I will.”

“And you understand that you aren’t just marrying Caleb, yes? He’s part of the Mighty Nein. We’re a package deal. You can’t just take him and then shut us out or something. We love him too- maybe not the way you do, but he’s one of us. He’s part of our family.”

Essik knows.

Unable to stop himself, Essik smiles at Nott. It’s not the small, poised smiles he offers when he is left speechless by the Nein’s actions. It isn’t the smirk he wears when he’s bested someone in a battle of wits. It’s not the proud, satisfied smirk of a man who has figured out a complicated spell and cast it correctly. It isn’t the demure and graceful look of the Shadowhand. It’s a soft, genuine, friendly smile, one similar to the one he reserves for Caleb.

It’s similar to the smile he’d worn when Caleb had responded positively to the suggestion of marriage. Though drow betrothals and marriages are far more serious and formal affairs that required much discussion, Essik had been so elated by Caleb’s seeming agreement that he’d dragged the wizard to bed and ravished him before later sheepishly admitting that the _proper_ reaction would have been to discuss their relationship and ensure that such a union was practical and equally beneficial.  

And they’d discussed much. Most of the previous month had been spent discussing everything from cultural and social differences, Caleb’s continued desire to see the now-tattered remains of the Cerberus Assembly ripped apart, and his struggles with mistakes of his past. Those conversations had been difficult and heart-wrenching and had left them both emotionally drained afterwards, but things had sorted themselves out as best as possible.

“Caleb had the same concern,” Essik informs Nott gently. “And just as I explained to him, so now will I explain to you: what is important to Caleb is important to me. What he values, I will value. And he has made it clear that he values all of you greatly. And I must confess, I have come to appreciate all of you as well. You have aided the Dynasty, helped bring the war closer to an end, saved the lives of my people. You are trusted allies and… I consider you friends. Your presence in Caleb’s life brings him comfort and joy. I would never deprive him of that.”

“Aww, you guys,” Jester gushes, hands clasped to her cheeks, “Essik likes us!”

Nott studies him for a moment, considers his words, then holds out her hand. Essik takes it and she pats it with her other hand. “Well then,” she decides. “I suppose you have our blessing.”

***

In the end, Essik decides that perhaps following the Empire’s custom might be a good start at bridging the cultural gap between the two of them. With that in mind, he purchases a simple gold band and offers it to Caleb a week later as they sit in the library studying a particularly old tome.

“I was told I needed to do a proper Empire proposal,” he explains when Caleb looks at him with a wide, questioning gaze. “It was this, or let Jester come up with something.”

Caleb laughs outright and accepts the ring. Essik slides it onto his finger and Caleb takes a moment to appreciate it before leaning over to kiss Essik softly. “Did she mention _Tusk Love?”_

“First thing.”

Caleb grimaces. “This is better, though it was not necessary. But in any case, the answer is still yes.”

“I am glad to know it has not changed,” Essik whispers as he captures Caleb’s lips. Just when things begin to grow a little heated, they are interrupted by an incessant pounding on the door. Groaning, the two men pull away from each other and with a wave, Caleb sighs and slings the door open.

Jester stands there, looking nosey and curious. “Hey,” she says, rocking in her heels and looking at them expectantly.

Caleb sighs once more and holds up his hand for Jester to see. She gasps and turns to shout, “ _He said yes!”_

Essik has the good manner not to roll his eyes. “I explained to her that you had _already_ said-“

He’s cut off by Jester rushing in, moving the book aside and causing both Essik and Caleb to exclaim in fear that she might mess it up. But once it’s carefully placed on the table, she catches their hands and pulls them up off the couch. “Come on!”

“Where are we going?” Caleb asks as the two are dragged out of the library to the kitchen where there is a large cake.

“We’re celebrating your engagement!” Jester exclaims before adding, “Caduceus made cake!”

***

Later, the group relaxes under the lights of the tree, discussing engagement, wedding, and marriage customs between the Empire, Nicodranis, and Xhorhas. They talk and laugh, though Caleb and Essik are more subdued, giving each other sly glances out of the corner of their eyes, ever amused and lovingly exasperated by the chaos of the Mighty Nein.

That thought brings something to Essik’s mind. When a break in conversation occurs, he speaks. “I’ve been meaning to ask this for some time,” he says to no one in particular, “Why do you call yourselves the Mighty Nein if there are only seven of you?”

Silence reigns for a long moment before Beau groans and drops her head to her knees. Jester laughs triumphantly, throwing out her hand and wiggling her fingers expectantly. When Beau doesn’t move, Jester begins poking her arm until finally, a grumbling Beau digs out a few gold pieces and slams them into Jester’s hand. Jester tosses one gold over to Essik, who catches it with ease, but has no idea why he’s receiving payment. “Thanks for helping me win my bet, Essik!” She beams.

“What… bet?” He glances to Caleb who merely shrugs.

Beua glares at Essik, though there isn’t any animosity to it. “ _Everyone_ asks that question. I bet Jester that you’d gone this long without asking that you wouldn’t do it. Thanks.”

“Yeah, thanks Essik! You’re the best”

“You are most welcome, Jester,” Essik replies, finding himself wrapped in an unexpected hug. This time he leans into it a little easier, a little more willingly.

Once Jester takes her seat again, Caleb clears his throat. “It’s… mostly a joke,” he explains to his betrothed. “ _Nein_ is Zemnian for _no,_ but is also Common for the number nine. It was a spur of the moment choice that accidentally stuck.”

“And we used to tell people that we ‘lost a few good ones’ just to make it worse,” Beau adds, “Until we actually lost one. But we were used to it by then and never bothered to change it.”

“If you think about it though,” Caduceus remarks thoughtfully, “It actually works both ways now.”

“How do you mean?” Fjord asks.

“Well,” Caduceus says softly, “If we count everyone here, that makes nine of us.”

There’s a moment of silence before Jester gasps dramatically. “Oh my _gosh_ , Caduceus, you’re right! There’s officially nine of us! Yeza is number eight and Essik you’re number nine!”

“But now we aren’t ironic anymore!” Beau exclaims.

“Oh shit!” Jester agrees with a horrified look, thinking hard for a moment before snapping her fingers. “Oh! Molly! Okay, so Caduceus is eight, Yeza is nine, and Essik is ten!” She thinks for a moment then adds, “Plus we have Shakasta and Bryce and Kiri and Cali and Twiggy- there’s _way more_ than nine of us!”

“We’re still ironic!” Beau cheers.

“Yeah,” Jester agrees, then looks at Essik seriously. “This is a real honor you know; we don’t just let _anyone_ be a part of the Mighty Nein. You have to be like, _really_ cool- which you totally are,” she assures him.

He isn’t sure why, but the thought of being a part of the Mighty Nein makes Essik’s heart swell. He’s not sure if it’s because of Caleb, or because of Jester, or the others, or what, but the fact that this group traveled to his homeland, planted roots here ( _literally)_ , and have not only begun adapting to the Xhorhasian way of life, but have equally invited him to be a part of their own little den. They accept him, tease him, and view him as one of the Nein. And Essik has witnessed first hand just how loyal this group is to one of their own.

They are a family, through and through, and Essik understands just how much it means to be welcomed into such a tightly knit unit.

Beside him, Caleb turns and whispers, “This may be your last chance to run, if you have any doubts. Though Jester knows what you look like, so even then you may not be safe. But if you want out, you’d best tell me now.”

Essik takes Caleb’s hand in his, where the small gold band rests on his ring finger. Soon he will have one to match, and in all his 1200 years, he doesn’t think he’s ever been more excited for anything.

“It will take more than this to frighten me away.”

He’d said the same when Caleb had revealed the entirety of his past. When he’d looked away from Essik and muttered he would understand if Essik wanted to rescind his offer. Essik hadn’t been deterred then, and he certainly wasn’t deterred now.

Caleb smiles softly, shyly. He’s still very much a broken man, but Essik can see where the Nein have helped him slowly heal from the hurt of his past. Essik hopes, in time, he can help ease some of that hurt too.

“Then I’m afraid you’ve officially become a member of the Mighty Nein.”

Essik looks up at the group. The conversation has moved on, and he takes a moment to regard each of the people he’s come to care for over the past year. Beau with her brash words that hide a genuine heart that loves deeply. Jester with her mischief and her wild devotion to ensuring everyone is happy. Caduceus with his wisdom and gentle presence. Yasha, who convinced Essik that first impressions are not always what they seem. Fjord, who is still finding himself, but has great potential and a strong love for his friends. Nott, the bravest soul he’s ever met. Yeza, quiet but brilliant. Mollymauk, the spark that drives them. 

Caleb. Broken and beautiful and so full of love. To feel that love directed toward him makes Essik think of how it feels to be in the light of the Luxon- all encompassing and warm and bright. Perfect. 

They stumbled their way into the Queen’s chamber, and despite their rough demeanor, the clumsy way in which they do things, they’ve brought hope back to this land. And along the way, they managed to stumble their way into Essik’s heart.

Essik entwines his and Caleb’s fingers together. “You say that as if it were a bad thing.”


End file.
